I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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