Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
