the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
