Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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