There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
