I'm lost and stupid without you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were destined to go to rehab together
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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