Old men and throwing up are my life now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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