I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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