The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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