I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
