Just cropdusted the office
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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