I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You made out with two different species that night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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