So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
