so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
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I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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