I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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