I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
