i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
