i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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