they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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