shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
