I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
