I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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