I love black thongs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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