Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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