so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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