Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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