remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
