No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize