dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
