It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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