At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.