She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?