So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.