Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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