it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
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She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We are all done wearing pants today
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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