dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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