Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
