Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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