come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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