More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
