he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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