I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
