But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
