What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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