i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize