Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
