her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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