do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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