I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
