I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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