They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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