if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
