Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
