If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize