I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
