Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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