finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize