it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize