I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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