Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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