I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
