Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
