In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
