Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
